Japanese Toilets, Chinese Toilet signs, and American Love Affairs

Japanese Toilets, Chinese Toilet signs, and American Love Affairs

Japanese Toilets, Chinese Toilet signs, and American Love Affairs

The cutest (and most helpful) invitation to the toilet is clearly in China.

Japanese toilet seats are the best!!  Heated seats, the most intensely satisfying and precise bum and bidet water streams, and if you’re lucky, even a blow dryer to leave you so fresh and so clean, clean! I’ve only been talking about them since coming back from China and Japan 3 months ago. I’ll stop now. My soul mate will know this is all I ever want in life. Maybe today? It is Valentine’s Day after all…

Go ahead; hate on Valentine’s Day all you want. You’re allowed. But just know that in countries like Pakistan, it’s banned to celebrate the day of love. Yes, BANNED!  I bet that makes you reconsider your feelings about it – or at least it should. After all, we’re entitled, freedom-fighting ‘Muricans! We DESPISE the idea of being told what we can or cannot do.  So since you have the choice to feign happiness with a partner, you should totally do it. (And no judgment on how recently you’ve known said “partner”).

I know, I know. It’s not that easy to give into the sappiness, because real talk, it’s annoying commercializing love to the point of shelling out your hard owned dough for some absurdly priced confections and weeds combo, or for that cool, but pricey beer of the month subscription. (Go with the rare beer club, trust me on this)! But literally, figuratively, the only thing worse is love unrequited – or nonexistent, or forlorn, or forgotten…

NOPE, changed my mind, what is easily the worst is the state of the U.S.’s political affairs. Regardless of which party you subscribe to, it’s an historic time. You know it is when most news outlets are giving you the daily scoop about events by ACTUALLY counting the days. How else would I know it’s Day 26 and that “Flynn Is the First to Fall”? That’s National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, not “that guy” Melissa McCarthy impersonated on SNL for the last two weeks.

But hey, we’re coming out on top in other areas. Kudos to ABC for casting its first black Bachelorette. #LoveisLove. Hurrah to underdogs like Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, for fending off the president’s machismo handshake. Why is that a story again?  #Blessed to have a strong emojis game, since apparently it’s inextricably linked to more sex. (Happy VDay again).

And possibly above all, yay for Free Beer AI, Inc., who’s providing you with your own BEER BOT to get to know and love and care for you and all your free beer needs. All you have to do is subscribe. So do it already! #yw

 

This is Obi. He’s in love with monkeys. (And in lust with the pillows he humps).

 

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